Some Pics And Update

<-- Finally wanted to eat this morning!
<--- Finally wanted to eat breakfast, today. Below: Finally decided to color, yesterday













Ok so I guess I lied, I can't promise that I won't be bitching at least a little in this blog as well. Today was a rough one for Donavynn. The morning started out good when I saw him devouring his breakfast! But his diarrhea is still coming strong and consequently he has some breakdown on his bottom. He would scream every time I tried to clean him. At one point he told me he didn't want me, that I needed to get the nurse. That stung a little but I know he just doesn't feel good. After 5 or 6 times of listening to the blood curdling screams he let out when I tried to clean him I had had enough of waiting for the doctors to do something and went off on the nurse. It wasn't her fault and I felt bad afterward. But how long can you sit back and watch your child suffer and no one wants to do anything. They won't give him anything to stop the diarrhea because there have apparently been studies done that say that can prolong the virus. I don't believe that but that is just my opinion. I finally got them to order Nystatin because it is looking like a yeast infection. This afternoon we finally found a technique to clean him that didn't make him scream and things have been a little better since. They also prescribed Oxycodon for the pain, seems a bit strong to me, but if it helps him, I guess I can't complain.

The doctors explained the whole antibiotic stuff to me, which I was fully aware of, but still not sure I agree with. I understand that they want to make sure they don't miss an infection but the antibiotics can cause GI upset as well, and all the cultures are negative so it seems a bit pointless to me. I guess that is just the way they do things, and it could save his life, so I won't complain about that anymore.

I would just like to say as well, that I am fully aware that there are worse things that can happen, that some of the other children on our floor and their families are enduring and have endured far worse than this. My heart goes out to them and I keep them in my prayers. That however doesn't change the fact that my baby is in pain and I hurt for him and am frustrated that we have no answers. I told this to the social worker today (who I HATE anyway) And I mentioned that it felt like we would be here forever. Frustration speaking, I'm sure you understand. Her response was "You won't be here forever, there is a family that has been here forever, they have been here since February." I was floored and didn't know what to say to her. What a bitch! I'm tired, lonely, frustrated and sick of seeing my baby in pain and this is her response to me??? I know that there are children fighting for their lives up here and by no means do I want sympathy or whatever she thought I was looking for. She asked how I was doing, so I told her. Social workers are supposed to be part of your support system ya know? I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I thought that was pretty shitty to say. We are all fighting our own battles, some harder than others but no matter how petty someone else's problems may seem to you, they are big to them. She has no clue what I'm dealing with. The other worries that I have going through my mind besides the irritation of not having answers. He may not be as bad as some of the kids but he is still fighting cancer as well. And I feel that now he is on maintenance she doesn't feel like he matters anymore. All I can say is I miss Jamie, she was the best social worker in the world! I wish she would come back!!! Sorry, with everything else going on this just rubbed me the wrong way.

So anyway, his WBC is 530, I don't know his ANC but with his WBC that low his ANC is much lower. All his blood work is out of whack. So it is going to take his poor little body a little longer to recover. So I'm preparing myself for a long stay and hoping for a short one. He has still had the fever and the doctors said that we can't go home till
1. He has been fever free for 24 hours.
2. His viral panel comes back.
3. The diarrhea has stopped.

So he hasn't been up to doing much, as you can imagine so I have been coloring him some pictures, in hopes of helping the time pass. He likes them. :)

So I think that is about it for now. Hopefully we'll know something soon. Again sorry for the complaining. Gotta vent sometimes! Thanks for the prayers.