The Anniversary, Treatment and Dermatology

Well today was a hard day as I expected it would be, but we got through it ok. I tried not to think about it too much, though that was a difficult thing to do. Every now and then I find myself thinking about how simple life was before it had cancer in it, but I stop myself because what is the point of that? He is strong and he is doing well and we are thankful for that. That is all we can do - keep fighting hard and thanking God every day that he is doing so well. What made today harder was the fact that he had treatment today. I don't know what I thought... that because it was the anniversary that we would get bad news? That because this was a terrible day 2 years ago it would be again? That was just my mind messing with me, but all went well. He only needed his Vincristine today so that made him happy - no LP so he could eat! His ANC was 1960 so it is with in the range that they want it. That appointment went quick and well but I called last night to ask them if they could get Donavynn into Dermatology sometime today as well because his skin has gotten even worse and nothing is helping, and his next appointment wasn't until next month. So they squeezed him in. The doctor seemed absolutely clueless as to what it could possibly be and seemed to be grasping at straws when he noticed that it had now spread to a tiny patch on his hand. He said "Well, I'm going to check for scabies first" I was thinking - "Whatever dumbass - if it was scabies it would have started in the hands not everywhere else and the entire house would have it, but run you stupid little test" What do you know - I was right and it was negative. So the next step was to finally do the skin biopsy. They came in with a blanket to wrap him up in as a restraint after they let the Emla numb his skin. I told them that that would only make it worse and that would make him fight whereas if you just explain it to him and tell him to hold still he'll be fine. And he was. He laid perfectly still while they injected him with something else to give a little added protection against pain and while they did the punch biopsy - that is where they use this little thing to punch a whole in the skin kinda like a hole puncher. He didn't even flinch. They then had to put two stitches in it. We have to keep Bacitracin on it and the area on his hand that they scraped for the other test to prevent infection and he has to go see the pediatrician to get the get the stitches out in 10-14 days. He said that the area on his head looks like psoriasis and after looking at some of the pictures of the different types of psoriasis I'm starting to think that that may be what it is. I really really hope not but I won't be surprised. The type that it looks like is called Guttate Psoriasis. But the area on his arm is starting to look a lot like plaque psoriasis. The good news is that if it is that the skin biopsy will tell us, the bad news is that the skin biopsy may only tell us what it ISN'T. That should be back in a week or 2. They are going to do a fungal check as well since he had a fungal infection before and with him being immunosuppressed that isn't out of the realm of possibilities. I just wish that they would figure it out. And I am praying that it isn't psoriasis and that it is something easy to cure. He was sitting in the tub last night and he looked at his legs and then he looked at Dave and said "Daddy, what's wrong with me?" It broke our hearts! He is so little and understands so much, and it just breaks my heart to hear that he sees these things and knows that there is something wrong and that we aren't able to fix it. But hopefully we'll be able to very very soon!

So that is about it. The day was long and emotionally draining but all is good. And as always his strength and courage amazed me!!!

I have a ton of homework to do so I better get off of here but I didn't want to leave everyone hanging. Hope you are all doing well, I miss talking to all my friends.