Feeling A Little More Awake Today...

Donavynn is doing great! I can't even begin to express how happy this makes me. Every day here is a struggle in some way or another, whether it is that he isn't feeling well, or my brain is going places that I wish it wouldn't with worry. I can't imagine my life without him. He fills every single day with joy, even when he is acting like a typical 4 year old. Which by the way is incredibly hard because he never got an attitude before, and is now begining to test the waters a little more, but even so, I'd rather have that than what we were dealing with throughout October. He lightens my world and the love that he has for his sister and she for him makes it even better. Of course they fight, like brothers and sisters do. And she doesn't listen like she should, like most 10 year old girls. But I have two amazing, loving children and my life would be so empty without them. With Thanksgiving over I have found myself searching to see what I am really grateful for, and I would have to say that the #1 thing is my family. All of it, from my mom and dad to my husband and children.

You would never know that he is neutropenic because currently he and his sister are racing around the house. And earlier he was racing on his smart cycle and going so fast! His energy amazes me because I have so little right now. I have been drained emotionally and that takes its toll everywhere. I wish I could bottle some of his energy. It makes me so happy to see him like this because it shows just how strong he really is. I admire his strength. I have seen such strength in these kids, both on here and in the hospital. You know that much of the time they don't feel good or are in pain and yet they storm the halls of the hospital with the bikes and tractors they ride, they fill the playroom doing crafts or playing games and they laugh! Through the pain and the sadness that is cancer they laugh. I think that often times we the parents are the ones that struggle with this the most, even though we aren't the ones feeling the pain, we have a harder time with all of it. Often times we have a hard time being normal because our brains are going over all the possibilities and the kids are for the most part oblivious. Donavynn told me the other day when I told him that he had to wash his hands or he would get sick "I am sick already!" He doesn't understand that that is a different kind of sick. Much like his friend at school the other day didn't understand. For this I am also grateful. His laughter washes away the fears, at least for a little while. It brightens my day and gives me hope. Know that though I haven't had time to talk to many of you, I haven't forgotten about you or your thoughtful words and prayers. I appreciate everything you all do from sending up prayers to checking up on us. Your support means the world to us.